where is God in all of this?

so i finished reading the AMAZING Relationships book by Dean Sherman..aka Ned Flanders of the Simpsons.. lol shhh it's a secret k.. don wanna get whacked up.. he's a nice guy..jus has a funny tone to his voice

the book really opened my mind and view of relationships with God, family, friends and those extra special ppl. i really liked reading the 2nd&3rd to last chapter which talked about the Dating Philosophy and Walls of Protection. Awesome stuff.. ya'll shd seriously get a copy of it if u get the chance!

THE FOLLOWING IS NOT FOR THE SENSITIVE..OR FAINT HEARTED!

In walls of protection it talked about tht each time we tell someone we love them or show actions that do and our heart is directed to that person then we are tying these invisible cords around each other..the problem is.. the more we do that..the stronger these cords get and the harder it will be to break or sever them..

In the Dating Philosophy, i was quite surprised to find out tht Sherman encouraged us to get real with our feelings and be honest enough to tell ourselves that we're attracted to tht person..coz if we don't it would be even worse to not be honest with yourself. The question to ask urself is "If that person got engaged to be married to someone else, would you be happy for them?"

anyway.. the past few days haven't really been a blur..here n there has.. i've made SO MANY mistakes its amazing God has the grace to forgive me.. i'm really sorry to the one or ONES i have hurt.. sometimes i don't think, i forget about the other person's good, and as Dean Sherman says..don't do what the loving thing is toward the person and what is beneficial to them.. so i'm really sorry. Hope you'll forgive me..

sometimes i wonder..where is God when i do all these things.. just a simple this..turns into a complicated THAAAAAAAAAAAAAT..

i'll tell you where he is.. he's right there.. he's the one whispering and gently saying.. Hey, don't do that.. it's not for either of your good.. it's not the loving thing to do.. please..don't..because..I LOVE YOU..

my response.. i somehow find a way to shut off his voice.. and just continue with what i'm doing..

at the end of the day.. i look back and see how far i've fallen.. i take a trip down guilt road.. and ask for God's forgivenes.. the next day..the whole thing repeats itself..

however,.. i've decided that it's time that this all come to an end and STOP.. i no longer want to hurt another person or myself..or even see my Father's heart broken into pieces and crying..

i'm going to have to stay strong, let His voice become my song.. and not let my emotions take over. it'll defo be hard.. for both parties.. but it's only for the best. 'cause once this phase has passed.. we might be able to move on to the next.. which will no doubt have its on share of problems..but will be for the better..